July 10, 2009

So it Begins

I'm half way through my maternity leave now, just three weeks left.

What an awful feeling! The only good thing about this situation is that I was so anxious about the pain of going back to work after having my precious baby that I didn't have the time or energy to worry about labor and delivery like most new moms.

Today I had to check in with one of our program coordinators to make sure I was scheduled for the basic and advanced CPR re-certification classes. As I suspected, she goofed and I'm signed up only for the basic one. I'm not allowed to return to my residency until both are completed and a part of me was thinking "oh well, guess I just have to stay home with my son."

I was notified about this requirement just before going on leave. "Could you come back on July 3rd?" I was asked. I replied, "Hmmm, that would be just a week after I deliver. I don't think I want to be in an all-day class performing rigorous chest compressions and analyzing EKGs that soon after popping out a baby."


Now I'm scrambling to find an ACLS class as late as possible, but before August 3rd. Just opening up my work e-mail and leaving messages with my residency coordinators to set this up made me feel the full weight of my residency obligations again. It's like I'm Wile E. Coyote, strutting along for a moment until I look down and realize there's been a pit below me, waiting to swallow me whole. Down I go.


Theta Mom said...

No matter how you slice it, going back to work isn't easy. My first experience was when my son was ten months old. I thought I would never get through it, but I did. We all survive, but it's SO HARD. I know EXACTY how you feel. You should be comforted in knowing you are not alone...maybe blogging about it will help in some way! :)

Monique said...

It is cathartic, but I have a feeling I won't heal completely.