A monumental time.
I have a year's worth of experience being a mother! Can you believe it? One of the quickest lessons I learned was that you can't juggle it all. Hence the HUGE gap in posts.
During my absence from the blog world I took my 16 HOUR board licensing exam and faced several other trials that I can't even get into here. I have lamented my choice to be a resident and mother at the same time, but I wouldn't trade my son for anything. As I spent many long days at the hospital, lost countless hours of sleep, and missed meal after meal I questioned my career choice, too. Then something happened yesterday. . .
My adult cousin choked on her food at the birthday party.
I was sitting at another table enjoying my meal and having fun mommy-to-mommy discussion when I heard: "HELP HER!!!" I turned around to see my family swarming around my cousin who was in obvious distress. Here is what happened next, in step-wise fashion:
- I think "Is this really happening? People over-react all the time!"
- I approached my cousin quickly to judge for myself.
- I can hear my name being yelled to do something, anything.
- Iasked my cousin if she can say something, anything.
- She puts her hands around her throat and shakes her head desperately.
- I think "Ohhhhh man, this is REAL."
- "Call 911!" I tell them.
- No one moves, everyone (30+) is staring at me.
- My cousin is turning blue and remains silent.
- I think "She's going to die. I'm not in a hospital. I can't page anesthesia."
- I tell myself "All you can do is what you've been trained to do."
- People keep staring at me.
- I think of all the children around and tell God it would be cruel if tragedy were to strike here, in front of them, and on my little boy's birthday.
- I perform the Heimlich maneuver three times.
- My cousins gasps for air and begins to speak.
- I make sure she's OK.
- I sit back down and my uncle says "That med school tuition was worth it!"