I'm BAAAAAACK!

A monumental time.

I have a year's worth of experience being a mother! Can you believe it? One of the quickest lessons I learned was that you can't juggle it all. Hence the HUGE gap in posts.

During my absence from the blog world I took my 16 HOUR board licensing exam and faced several other trials that I can't even get into here. I have lamented my choice to be a resident and mother at the same time, but I wouldn't trade my son for anything. As I spent many long days at the hospital, lost countless hours of sleep, and missed meal after meal I questioned my career choice, too. Then something happened yesterday. . .

My adult cousin choked on her food at the birthday party.

I was sitting at another table enjoying my meal and having fun mommy-to-mommy discussion when I heard: "HELP HER!!!" I turned around to see my family swarming around my cousin who was in obvious distress. Here is what happened next, in step-wise fashion:

1. I think "Is this really happening? People over-react all the time!"
2. I approached my cousin quickly to judge for myself.
3. I can hear my name being yelled to do something, anything.
4. Iasked my cousin if she can say something, anything.
5. She puts her hands around her throat and shakes her head desperately.
6. I think "Ohhhhh man, this is REAL."
7. "Call 911!" I tell them.
8. No one moves, everyone (30+) is staring at me.
9. My cousin is turning blue and remains silent.
10. I think "She's going to die. I'm not in a hospital. I can't page anesthesia."
11. I tell myself "All you can do is what you've been trained to do."
12. People keep staring at me.
13. I think of all the children around and tell God it would be cruel if tragedy were to strike here, in front of them, and on my little boy's birthday.
14. I perform the Heimlich maneuver three times.
15. My cousins gasps for air and begins to speak.
16. I make sure she's OK.
17. I sit back down and my uncle says "That med school tuition was worth it!"