July 16, 2009
Just the two of us.
I took Philippe out in his stroller today. I only walked a few blocks, but it was quite an adventure for me. Everything seemed different after being inside most of the day for the past few weeks. The first thing to surprise me was how weak I've become. I was told not to lift anything heavier than my baby until cleared by my OB, which happened only recently. So when I went to pick up the carrier it wasn't easy. Also, I didn't have practice using the stroller because of my restrictions so I'm sure it was very entertaining for my neighbors to watch me fiddling with this 'newfangled contraption.'
I felt really accomplished by the end. The best part is, I made a buddy! I spotted her down the block pushing her little boy in the same stroller and immediately I knew she was a new mom like me. We both had that what-the-#$%!-just-happened-to-my-life look in our eyes and uptight shoulders to disclose our status. As soon as we got within earshot of each other we started chatting. You could tell we were voracious for adult conversation and an understanding ear. In just seconds we discussed how our lives had been turned upside down, the anxiety that comes with breastfeeding, and the fear that we might never like our bodies again. The subject matter might not have been uplifting, but I felt so much better after that.
It's really funny to go from being a cool and confident woman in the face of things like a cardiac arrest and then nearly fall apart before leaving the house with a newborn. I know it's just a phase, though. What's more permanent, I believe, is this awesome sisterhood of which I am now privileged to be a part. Exciting.